.....a relationship can end but it doesn’t devalue your experience with that person. We have to stop perceiving a shift in a relationship as a failure. It’s not. Its only a failure when it’s tumultuous and you all continue to be in an unhappy relationship.
We often feel the need to negate all feelings felt when disappointed. If both parties have been honest about their feelings during the relationship, then it should be clear that what you felt was authentic. It just didn’t last as long as you fantasized. NOT time wasted.
Let that mentality go."Life is to be experienced." It’s whimsical to think that all your experiences must be modeled after your ideals and if not they're pointless. Experience teaches you what you like and don’t like. Romantic encounters included!
Be more thankful for the experience than not. You know how you use to come home from school drained and 'over it'. You sling your book bag on the couch, go straight to the kitchen for some comfort food and your mother asks “what you learned today?” You respond, drained and over it, “nothing” then you hear “Ain't no way you went to school all day and ain't learn nothing” She’s right. It’s impossible to say that you didn’t learn something either about yourself or just life via your interaction with that individual. Whether you want to acknowledge it or not, you definitely learned something or was able to find further understanding. Take it for what it is and let it go.
I was with this guy for a very short time. We fell in a love that I had never felt before. I felt safe and understood. I thought our chemistry meant longevity but NOPE! He ended things very quickly because he shifted into a different space that I was no longer compatible with. “It’s me not you” can be a real thing. Sometimes, there's literally nothing that you could have done to avoid the end.
Apart of being human is constantly evolving and developing. So, if someone decides the next chapter doesn't include you, it's not personal. You simply aren't apart of that evolution. You did your best and if that wasn't good enough fuck 'em. NEXT!
Then sometimes it is you. Yes, let me gon' head and shatter the idea that you’re perfect. No worries, none of us are, but this is why it is important to heal from past traumas before starting a relationship. Whether you are aware of your open wounds or not, they'll always bleed out on the people you're sharing experiences with. (Don't hate me for this but...) People are completely allowed to not chose you because of your behavior, no matter what the cause of it is. (Oh hush) Don’t beat yourself up about it. Being aware is the first step to a better version of you.
I hope this was helpful to someone who struggles with heart break or disappointment. I know it's so much easier said than done but chin up kid! The sun is out ;)
